i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
