YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
