when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
