I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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