We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I deserve this hangover.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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