my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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