So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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