So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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