Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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