its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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