He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
