she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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