He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
