ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
