where am i from again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
