dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
