Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize