I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
