a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
