Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she pinky promised me she was 18
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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