my vag is so smooth its legendary
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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