I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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