They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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