the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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