: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
