I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
