the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
