I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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