oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
