The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
