I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
