This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
