I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
