It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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