he puts the penis in happiness.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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