I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
barbara walters just said penis...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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