We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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