Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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