The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
