somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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