so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
