I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
