so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
