Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
