Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize