32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
