I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
