Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
