I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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