I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
