you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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