You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
