You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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