you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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