Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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