Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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