I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
