i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
