If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
