Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Alive.
So much puke
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
