Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
