Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
