whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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